Week 4 Continued

My second call with Chinrinee was great. She really makes me greatful for having this part of the class. I believe she exemplifies the idea that was discussed in several posts this week concerning coaches knowing themselves before they can seek to help others and I feel very lucky to have begun this new friendship. Chinrinee has a great tactic that she uses in which she re-states what I have said after I am done saying it in terms of her own understanding. It really helps me to hear my words spoken back to me with sparse but insightful interpretation from a coach. Her questions are at once broad and specific. for example, Chinrinee often asks me what my one wish would be concerning a difficulty I am facing or a goal I have set. She is a very active listener and I hope to emulate this so that I can transmit the feeling of safety and comfort to those I am coaching and counseling as she does to me.
I ventured to be a bystander this week as I have been trying to do for the past several weeks in a new position I have recently taken although I did not have Isaac's term for it when I began. Chinrinee helped me to realize what a relief it was to not always be a mover or opposer. I was able to listen and engage with a kind of stillness ad peace that I often lack. I had no less control as a bystander but I did feel, looking back on it, less controlling. I have been trying to do this on a persona level through yoga and meditation for years and I feel like some of my hard work and non-work or non-grip (if that makes sense) helped me to finally begin to see that I was using these practices in my relationships with other people as well.
Despite what the assignments may be for this or next week, I am going to try and continue to practice bystanding and noticing how this affects my own dialogue and that of the people I seek to help.